say something, i’m giving up on you.

{credit to hummusbird blog}

{credit to hummusbird blog}

The strongest and yet most fragile creatures, we humans are. We proudly declare our independence, but destroy ourselves with our solitude.

Sometimes I think I’m too emotional. I feel too much. I love people recklessly, I’m too “needy”, and I shouldn’t rely on human companionship so much.

A close friend. A strong bond. You open your heart, you give them your love. And then they’re gone. They just … walk away.

And I have to wonder — Is there such thing as too much pain a person can bear? Can a heart still work, can it still beat, after it’s been bruised?

And then I resolve. I will never do that again. I will never open myself to anyone. I will build my walls so high, no one can come in.Β  I will close myself off to the world. I will curl up with clenched fists. No one will know. No one will see. I will protect myself from more hurt, from more heartache …

I will never love again.

Yes, I will succeed. Every night I whisper to myself, determined. I vow, the stars are my confidantes … Conceal. Don’t feel …

But then, despite all odds, there’s a glimmer. I’m beginning to feel again. No matter how much I try to squelch this inside me, it never, really, fully gives up. A spark glows within me, outside of my control. Why won’t it go away? I ask myself.

It hits me. Hard. We all need people, don’t we? We were made that way. God designed us to be in fellowship — in community — with one another.

But sometimes it’s hard, isn’t it? When your friend doesn’t love you as much as you love them (or at all)? You open yourself up to someone, and they toss you aside, or hurt you. And the first instinct is to run and hide … from them … from people … from everyone. It just hurts too much, and you want nothing to do with it anymore. People cause pain, so it’s best to stay away from them.

But is that really it?

Think about how much God loves us, and we push Him away. He sent His own Son to die for us, and we ignore Him. God loves us more than we can even fathom what love is, and yet we would rather pursue earthly blessings.

And think about Hosea: God called him to marry a prostitute. She ran away from him three times to go back to her old life, and he still loved her and pursued her and brought her back home.

Why not just accept that we need each other, more desperately than we would ever admit?

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Yes, love hurts.

“It hurts because it matters.” {john green}

12 thoughts on “say something, i’m giving up on you.

  1. Beautiful, beautiful post, Rach. πŸ™‚ I’ve never had to really endure all of this, but I have experienced it in smaller ways…it hurts. It makes you bitter towards the person. But, that’s when we have to let Christ soften our brittle hearts. I loved all you said, and the final quote was really good. *sending hugs over the cyber web* πŸ˜‰ ❀

  2. wow, thanks so much for this Rachel!! I just just contemplating that last night- God’s amazing love. I love the quote by C.S Lewis, “To love is to be vulnerable.” All so true! I needed this. πŸ™‚

  3. WOW good words put together beautifully. we desperately need each other. God did design us that way….Thank you for drawing it all together the way you did. Love is a beautiful thing…..thank you Jesus for loving us and putting love in our hearts

  4. I agree with you. I keep getting hurt and I tell myself that I won’t let it happen again and that I won’t socialize with people. But then, I always do. It just keeps happening. Beautiful post. We do need people. I agree with you. I mean I can’t imagine what my life would be today if I had never met you…. ❀

your comments are a ray of sunshine:)

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