There is an issue that has been plaguing me for many years now. She has burrowed in, nested, and made herself comfortable in my conscience. She has whispered in my ear time and time again, saying that it’s all ok and that I deserve a break, to rest, even though I really never worked that hard.
You know who she is?
She is one I like to call… Miss Sluggard.
Allow me to explain.
This is Miss Sluggard.
And this was also me.
“Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys”
~ Proverbs 18:9
“I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man”
~ Proverbs 24:30-34
“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”
~ Proverbs 6:6
“As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed. The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth”
~Proverbs 26: 13-16
“The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor” ~Proverbs 21:25
When I came back from Idaho that first time, I was changed in a lot of ways, but this is one that struck me pretty hard.
And I am still recovering from the blow.
Yes, I work very, very hard at school. And that’s good, but there were so many times when I would sit around idle, doing nothing.
Breaks are good, yes… but is laziness?
And that is exactly what I had become. Using my hard work at school as an excuse.
There was always some excuse.
Miss Sluggard would whisper how it’s ok, I need to unwind, relax for awhile.
And that “awhile” turned into hours and hours on the computer? And I didn’t notice that something was seriously wrong with this picture, wasting time day after day, making excuses, and leading myself to my own destruction?
No, I will not stay silent. I can not stay silent. This was me, and I am so ashamed. How much life have I missed out on?
All those times my dad would ask if I wanted to take the dogs out on a walk.
And then an excuse would find its way out of my mouth.
All those times I have missed out on spending time with my family, laughing in the kitchen together, reading together, or even simply just talking together, beautiful, precious moments all slipping away to never-existence?
And all at the cost of idling at — or should I say, “idoling”– the computer?
If you would’ve asked me if I thought of myself as a lazy person, I probably would’ve said no, and given a list of
reasons excuses why.
After working with horses and cattle for seven days, the Lord brought me to this harsh reality I now have to face.
I remember while I was there, and I saw my uncle’s computer laying in a corner on the counter. Gathering dust. Literally. And lots of it.
My coffee cup burned through my cold, stiff fingers as I stared at it in awe & wonder.
And maybe that also helped me see, in a sense how beautiful that was? To see them spending more time working, and with each other, than on the computer?
That image engrained into my psyche forever, I am determined to change. To change my ugly laziness, and turn my life to the beauty of hard work for the Lord, and fellowship with others.
So goodbye, Miss Sluggard.
I have better things to do. I have work to do, I have a life to live, and I have people to love and spend the rest of eternity with.